Beach Towels
by Analya-Shepard
Summary: John Shepard and Ashley Williams have had an on and off relationship the past year since the end of the war. When Ashley is home, on a rare occasion, she drags John to the beach against his will. Desperate to repair the relationship, John tries his best to pretend he's having a good time, while silently praying for a miracle between them. One shot post-war fanfic.


_Author's Note: After all this nice weather I've been able to enjoy, and after spending numerous days at the beach, I decided to have a little fun with some things I happened to think of. With John Shepard and Ashley Williams, of course. I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it!_

* * *

"I still can't believe you talked me into this." John mumbled, not too thrilled about waking up early just to nap all day outside. He could do that here. But no. Ashley insisted they go to the beach.

"_It's more romantic_." she'd said. He rolled his eyes. She'd never liked a lot of the romantic stuff, and it was just weird that she would suddenly start. She'd been begging him for a while for them to do something together for a whole day, out of the house.

While Ashley was still grabbing a few things, John laid back casually on the bed in an old t-shirt he still had from recruitment, and some board shorts. He didn't need to put on his shoes quiet yet. But as he laid there, he took a tennis ball that had been laying on the floor for lord knows what reason, and he began tossing it in the air, and catching it repeatedly. He only sat up when an arm reached out to snatch the ball away from him before he could grab it as it fell. Ashley stood there with a smirk, holding the ball.

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah." he stood up and slipped on his sandals, taking the bag that he'd watched the woman throw various things into for the past hour or so.

Even though he didn't really want to go, he still put everything in the car, and drove them an hour and a half to the nearest sandy beach. It was already only 10 in the morning, but the beach looked pretty packed. John tried using this to convince her that they should come another day, but she shook her head, arguing that they'd already made the trip here, they might as well get something out of it. Grumbling, John tried to find a space to park the car. And after fifteen minutes of searching, one came up. They got out of the car, and John groaned. It was already hot outside.

"John, will you please shut your damn mouth for one minute and try to enjoy this?" she said, slamming the car door as she pulled the bag out to carry it herself.

"Ash, you know I don't like this stuff-" he started.

"Well you're gonna be liking it today." she snapped again. He sighed and offered to carry the bag, also letting her take his hand and leading them towards the hot sand, and screaming children. Joy. At least because she was leading him, he could take the opportunity to enjoy the view before him. He thought he saw a thin red string hanging out from underneath her brown shorts. But he shook his head, thinking it must've just been a loose thread from her shirt.

He looked around after a while and saw plenty of spots that they could have stopped to put their things down at. And then he looked a little further down the beach and realized why she'd been so insistent on them going today. There was fence that ran through the sand, and a portion of the water was closed off by buoys that likely had nets running under the water. Now he didn't see any people on the beach. He just saw a row of large beach cabanas. When they were close enough, he counted only twenty-five. There was a man sitting near the gate of the fence, and when he saw the two approaching he stood up. His skin looked leathery, from all the sun he'd been getting.

"Do you have a reservation?" the man asked. John looked at Ashley, who smiled.

"Should be under John." she smirked, glancing back up to him. He kept silent, but set his mouth in a firm line. As the man flipped through a couple papers, he nodded.

"Go right ahead. Number 12 should be open. If it's not, let me know."

"Thank you." Ashley grinned and pulled John into motion again. When they were far enough away he voiced his complaint.

"You put it under my name? Why?"

"Well I tried mine and it did squat to bump it up to this weekend. Otherwise we would have had to wait until the dead of winter, and I didn't want that." Ashley said, shaking her head. John chuckled and let her have it. Each cabana they passed was graciously spaced out for privacy, and each had a different look. Some, mostly closer to the entrance, were simply shades with some lounge chairs beneath them, while others, like the ones at the far end, were practically houses that were clearly rented for over night stays. There were some in between, definitely, and they all looked nice in some way or another - varying degrees of privacy. When they reached the sign that had a nice red 12 on it, Ashley smiled, and lead John to small shack-like cabana. It had an open wall to look out on the beach, with white curtains that could be pulled closed for whatever reason. The two steps to the inside showed a modestly large room, complete with a small bathroom, bed, and a large couch. The color scheme seemed to be white with splashes of yellow, or turquoise. But it was nice for them, and it had a gently breeze that was fairly constant. John set the bag down near the couch and stood there, looking around and taking it all in.

"So what are we going to do first?" he asked, eyeing the bed and noting how plush it looked. He could sink into it for the whole day.

"I thought maybe we could take a walk out on the beach, seeing as there aren't people to step over, and you don't have to watch your head for flying objects." Ash shrugged, her weight on one foot and making it look like she was popping her hip out.

"Sure..." he sucked in a breath and kicked off the sandals, nearly regretting it the moment he stepped on the sand. But his feet sunk, and he realized the sand wasn't actually that hot once it spilled on the tops of his feet. He put his hands in the pockets that were in the shorts he had on, and walked alongside Ashley considerably quiet.

They'd been on and off for a few months, and right now they were together, much to his delight. And they were happier than they'd been the past few months, spare the minimal contact and conversation. John knew it was partially because she was still getting called out on assignments by the Council every now and then, and didn't want him to be tied down if something happened to her. Seeing as he'd all but quit running around to perform assignments, he was alone quite often. The other part was just that they hadn't been spending enough time with one another like this. John didn't like it anymore than she did, but he supposed since today was a chance to be with her, and with no distractions to get in the way, he'd better take the opportunity. But then there were moments like now, where he just didn't know what to say to her. They'd talked about so much, and knew so much about each other that he could tell what she'd say if he thought of anything.

"John?" she pulled him from his thoughts and he looked over.

"Hm?"

"Have you talked to anyone, lately?"

"I've talked to a few people. Why?" she shrugged.

"I was just wondering. I haven't talked to anyone for a while, I guess I just assume I'm missing out on something every time I leave." she looked embarrassed in a way. John couldn't understand why.

"You haven't been missing anything. I mean you missed Liara's birthday, but if I'm being honest it wasn't that big of a party."

"What, did she start reading a book, or something?" she grinned.

"Actually yeah, she did." John chuckled, "Samantha gave her a book on know Prothean history, and she just dropped everything and started reading it. She hadn't even finished opening the rest of her presents."

"What did we give her again?" Ashley was still laughing.

"I think we gave her a Prothean Sphere that I found on one of those missions way back when." he furrowed his brow, but nodded. "Yeah, I remember because I had to be careful about wrapping it."

"And you also passed out when you picked it up."

"Well I didn't remember that part, but thank you for reminding me." he smiled, not sure what more he could say to keep the conversation going. But he looked over at her again and she seemed to be fine walking along quietly. They'd passed about 7 cabanas, now, and John could feel his body beginning to sweat from the heat of the sun. The breeze wasn't doing much.

She turned them around and mentioned something about going back to lay down for a bit. He hadn't been listening because he'd spotted a few shells, and suddenly remembered Mordin talking about collecting them. Unfortunately Mordin wasn't here anymore. A lot of people weren't. He looked up and saw Ashley was standing a few feet away from him, turned around. The few hairs that had blown free of her bun were waving in the wind, and her hand was stretched across her forehead to block the sun.

"John, you okay?" she called out over the sound of waves crashing all around them. He picked up a light jog to catch up to her, nodding his head in response to her question. But this time he was the one to take her hand as they walked back. It was a little quicker, because he felt like he needed to sit down and talk with her. And when they ducked under the shade of their cabana again, Ashley seemed to want to take a nap.

"We can nap later." John tried, but she was already sitting on the bed. She fell back and groaned.

"It's _so_ soft, John." she said, rolling onto her side. He looked at her and sighed, crawling next to her.

"Fine... You can nap but I'm waking you up at lunch time to get something." he let her claim his right arm as her pillow, and she buried her face in his shoulder. She grumbled something in response, and he took it as an agreement. Though now he was being held hostage, and had little else to do but look over Ashley out at the beach. He saw several seagulls land and take off during the two hours,a nd he wished he hadn't laid beside her. He could at least be sitting out in the sun where he'd be warm. The shade was making him shiver a little bit.

As he watched the waves, he saw another couple walk past. They seemed to be doing quite well, judging by the way they stopped every five feet to make sure they still knew how to kiss. It wasn't that John wasn't romantic, he knew his way around women's hearts, and he was a good judge of when to say certain things. He just didn't like being one of those guys that was constantly buying flowers, or other stupid little gifts that would be forgotten by next week. It was a waste of money, and there were other ways that made bigger impressions. But because he didn't ever know what was going on between him and Ash, John usually kept things low-key. But it seemed like he was stuck here with her today, so he figured maybe when she woke up, he could try to be a little more romantic with her. If he was lucky she might tell him when she was planning on leaving, again.

With that thought, he nudged her awake, noticing that the shade in the cabana wasn't as spacious as it had been when they arrived.

"Ash, you promised you'd wake up." John smiled, still nudging her when she buried her face. Sighing, he stopped. "I guess you won't get anything to eat." her head shot up, scowling. He couldn't help but chuckle and help her sit up. More of her hair had gotten loose from her bun, and John was tempted to just pull the elastic band out of her hair to let it flow freely. He liked it better that way, she was always more of a woman when she had it down and that made her that much more special to him - something he could hold onto better.

"What do you want?" she asked, tucking the hairs back in as she yawned. John sat there, thinking about what he'd seen on their way over that was in walking distance. Nothing stuck out to him, but he smiled when he spotted a small pamphlet standing on top of the table that had fake flowers on top of it. He got off the bed and went to pick it up. He grinned and sat back down.

"Well here's a menu to look at." he held it open for her and she smiled.

"This is what your name got us." she then picked the paper out of his hands and looked over it. "Want me to call it in?"

"Just tell me what you want, I'll call when I've decided what I want." he said. She told him what she'd decided on before she stood up and locked herself in the small bathroom.

John went outside, putting some distance between him and Ash before he called, including a few extra things that she may or may not appreciate. He had to try to impress her. And luckily he was back in the same spot before Ashley reemerged.

"Did you call?"

"Yeah I just got done."

"Huh. I didn't hear you." she shrugged when he did and she pulled him back to the sand, wanting to sit for a while. She'd grabbed a towel from the bag and marched out, towing him with her. He felt like he was being forced to do a lot of things right now. But he helped lay out the towel so they could sit next to each other. Glancing further down the beach, John could see a few other couples doing the same thing. It was so quiet over here, it was almost like this was the entire world. It felt like it _was_ the entire world.

He glanced over to her and saw that she was looking at her feet, the corner of her lip tucked under her teeth and her eyes distant. She was thinking about something and he wanted to know whether or not it was personal or business. He took another minute to judge that by the way she held her hands. She put them behind her eventually, so he figured it must have been personal, and thus grounds for him to ask.

"Ash?"

"Yeah?"

"You look like you're thinking about something."

"Well unlike you, some of us are thinking quite a bit." she said with a serious face that broke shortly into a small smile. He returned a soft smile and waited for her to continue, looking out at the incoming waves. He was surprised at how clear the water was, and how far out it looked like you could walk. "I don't know, I was just thinking about the last time we were on a beach like this... And it got me thinking about some people."

"I see..." he swallowed thickly, and kept looking out. It was a while before she said anything else.

"I still regret that we couldn't have done anything to save him. He really deserved a better way out."

"I still wake up in the middle of the night about it." John paused, his face scrunching up. "And sometimes, when you're not there... I wake up and I feel like he's in the room with me. One time I even thought I heard him telling me to go back to sleep."

"When did that happen?" Ashley sounded worried.

"Three months ago, it was the night before you came back home." John cleared his throat, feeling the stinging in his eyes. He kept his voice calm. "I don't think he ever really left, Ashley. I think something's keeping him here."

John never openly admitted it to anyone but her that he believed in spirits of people becoming trapped between life and the afterlife due to some factor. This wasn't the first time he'd felt the presence of someone in his room when he knew he was alone. And it certainly wasn't the first time he'd heard voices, either. Ashley knew about this and she hadn't ever told him she thought it was silly of him, in fact she had a similar view, though it was just the smallest bit different from his. She believed spirits had the ability to stay if they wanted. This was a conversation that had only happened once.

"What do you think that could be?"

"I don't know." he shrugged, blinking away tears. "I don't know why he'd still be coming to me."

"John, you were his best friend. You went to a funeral of an old friend of his with him, that's not something to be taken lightly." Ashley put her hand on his shoulder, and it nearly shook John out of the conversation. She hadn't touched him except to take his hand for a while now. "Maybe he's just looking out for you because I can't be here all the time."

"I really wish that could change, you know." he said too quiet for her to hear. He turned around just to see a woman leaving a tray on the table, leaving quietly. He cleared his throat and moved to stand up. "Food's here."

* * *

After the meal was finished, both were in better spirits. John had surprised Ashley with a bowl strawberry granita. She was more surprised it hadn't melted when he presented it to her, but she enjoyed eating it all the same, only letting him have a couple spoonfuls. John lounged on the couch while she finished the dessert, and when she stood up to put it back on the tray, John leaned over, nearly falling off the couch, and grabbed her by the leg once she was free of the breakables. She let out a small yelp and laughed as he managed to pull her against him. As "punishment" for not letting him have more, he tickled her for a good ten minutes, stopping just when she was at the point of being unable to breathe. He was just glad to have her close again, and now that he'd made it this far, he wasn't going to let her get away again.

"Feel like taking another walk?" she smiled as she lay on her back across his lap.

"I feel like going in the water." he grinned down at her. She shoved his face as she sat up, pushing him.

"I'll be out in a couple minutes." she chuckled, pulling the curtains shut as she kicked him onto the sand, throwing his sunglasses at him. He shrugged and pulled off his shirt, walking out by himself to the edge of the water, putting on the sunglasses and finding it much easier to look around. The water was a bit cold, but warm enough to swim in and be comfortable. He stood in the water where about half his calf was under the water, and he had his body turned towards the rest of the shore, so he could both look out at the water, and watch for Ashley coming towards him without having to move anything other than his neck. So, he watched the waves come rolling in, lapping against his legs for a few minutes.

He looked over just in time to see Ashley emerging wearing a red bikini he'd never seen before. The strings that held it up told him that she'd been wearing that the whole time, and that's what he'd saw earlier. He smiled, unbelieving that she'd really let her hair down, and was walking over to him right now. This was not the same Ash he'd been with just ten minutes ago, and he wasn't entirely sad she was gone. When she was close enough, John grabbed her, holding her against himself and relishing in the feeling of being close to her without her pushing him away. Instead she smiled and looked up at him.

"Hey, skipper."

"Hey. You look great." he grinned as he rested his hand on her bare back, always amazed at how soft her skin was. Particularly now since he hadn't felt it for such a long time. She leaned forward, and rested her warm cheek against his shoulder.

"Thanks. I wasn't sure if you'd like it or not."

"Since when are you worried about what I think about what you choose to wear?"

"Since just now. You've always said you liked me with my hair down."

"It's not like I don't like you when you have your hair up. I just think you tend to be more relaxed when you let it down." he couldn't help but run his hand through it a few times. This was what he'd been missing between them, just little moments where they could talk, or be silent. But it mattered more to him that she had her arms around _him_. He sighed and closed his eyes, letting his chin rest on the top of her head. She felt so small to him.

"You know-" she paused and then shook her head. "Never mind. We don't need to talk about that right now."

"Are you sure, Ash?"

"Yeah. I don't want to ruin this. It's been a long time." she looked up at him and smiled. "I sort of missed this."

"I've missed this, too." he said, taking in a deep breath and then letting it out as a sigh. It seemed like they were starting to go in the right direction. So John didn't move a muscle, and he just smiled at her, letting her take off the sunglasses. He knew he looked tired, but he looked that way all the time now, it seemed. And she didn't look like she minded at all. He felt her arms come up so that they could rest at the back of his neck. Her eyes weren't brown today, they were a warm, golden amber, and John was completely mesmerized by them. He seen them before, of course, but in the past hour or so she really had changed.

"John. You're starting to creep me out a little." she finally broke the silence, the corner of her lip quirking upwards, folding her cheek. He chuckled and looked away.

"Sorry." he glanced back at her after another minute, "I just don't think I've ever seen your eyes in the sun like this."

"Is that supposed to make me swoon?"

"I'm getting there." he grinned, snatching the sunglasses back from her and looking out at the water.

She pushed herself away from him and he watched her as she walked out further into the water, pausing to lift a finger, coaxing him to come with her as she held a rather mischievous look on her face. He hurried to catch up to her and noticed the water hadn't gotten much higher even after they'd walked out a ways. Though suddenly it began dipping and in a matter of ten steps, the water had gone from their calves to their waists. And the waves were getting bigger.

"Where were you planning on going, exactly?" John chuckled when they stopped. Ashley turned to him and shrugged.

"I don't know, I was just... Going out here I guess." she seemed a little out of breath and John furrowed his eyebrows, smiling. She laughed and splashed some water at him.

"Oh, you shouldn't have done that, Ash." he grinned broadly, smacking some water back at her. She tried covering her face but she still got hit, and she shook her head, mouth in a straight line, but she was still somehow smiling. She flashed her teeth before she jumped on him, sending them both under the water for a few seconds. The water was clear enough that John kept his eyes open, seeing the sunglasses float to the surface. He could see Ashley looking back at him with a grin. She planted her feet in the sand and kicked off, sending her jetting back up to the surface. Staying under just a second longer, he gripped her by her hips and then stood up as well, throwing her over his shoulder. When his head resurfaced he could already hear her screams of protest interrupted by her own laughter.

"John! You'd better put me down!" she smacked his back as she kept laughing. She was kicking but it was doing her no good. Instead he let her slip down to where he could cradle her legs, letting her sit in his arms, raised above him. She still felt warm against him.

"Hmm... I guess this is fine." she said, leaning over to pick up the sunglasses, shaking the water off before putting them on his head, grinning. "Now what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to make you pay for dunking me like that." he narrowed his eyes, partially because of the sun, and also because he wanted to make his point. She squirmed in his arms as he carried her, but it was more than obvious to both of them that she wasn't actually trying to get away. It was something that they had both been neglecting for a long time now - their relationship with one another. So much time had been spent arguing about whether or not Ashley really needed to leave or not, and each time she did John could feel their relationship crumbling dangerously. It was at the point now where one wrong word or action could send them each running in the opposite direction, despite wanting to be right beside each other.

John was determined to make things right between them.

When he reached the sand, he set her down for a moment to look her in the eye. Silently, he was telling her that she had the option to walk away, right now, with no hard feelings. He let his hands hang at his sides, and he watched as she pulled his hands into hers. Her brown eyes were soft when he met them again, and he couldn't get over the smile she wore, either.

"I don't want to leave you and worry about whether or not I'll have something to come back to, anymore. I'm tired of this fight, we've already gone through this once and I think we both remember how that one ended up." Ashley's voice cracked a little, despite being so calm that John could have mistaken himself for simply imagining she said anything at all.

"I don't even remember why we started fighting in the first place." he sighed, letting go of her hands to wrap both arms tightly around her. There was relief, for once. The feeling of her chin resting on his shoulder and both of her arms squeezing him was a reassurance that this was really happening to him. It lasted for a brief moment before she snaked her arms around his neck, jumping up to wrap her legs around his waist as well. He caught her, even though she could have kept herself up, and began walking back to the nearly forgotten cabana.

After slipping through the curtains, he set her down on the soft bed. He could very easily remember the last time he'd seen her sitting like she was, in about as much clothing as well. She was half laid back on her elbows, legs stretched and bent out at the same time. He stood at the foot of the bed for a moment to take it in, before he began crawling towards her, glad that with all the fighting she'd done, her hands were still soft on his back. And unlike before, Ashley remained still beneath John. She was content to just be with him, and he was glad for that. And when he'd locked his lips to hers, capturing all of her attention, he diverted his hand from her side, slowly pulling at the string he'd seen dangling earlier, gently pushing aside the corner of the bikini.

"John, you hardly need to be subtle with me." Ashley chuckled when he let her breathe. Her hand was at the back of his head, and he could feel the fire shoot through his body when she lowered her voice, "It's not like I haven't seen it all before."

"Doesn't mean I can't still get you a little excited." he grinned, gently kissing her stomach a few times, now that he'd moved back towards the foot of the bed. Apparently the words had been enough of a distraction for her to be completely unaware that he'd removed his board shorts, along with her bottom piece. The result was genuine surprise and a few promises of making sure to dunk him under the water more often.

* * *

It was dark out when they got home, and Ashley was practically asleep. John didn't care to take the bag inside, knowing he could do it another time. He went around and helped her out of the car, though, and ultimately decided to carry her in. There wasn't any protest from her as she snuggled into him as they went inside. Helping her into bed just a few minutes later, Ash was now keen on keeping him hostage until morning. So he rolled onto the bed beside her and held her until she was asleep, slipping out of her arms for just one minute to change out of the clothes he'd been wearing for most of the day. But he came back and affectionately kissed the top of her head, closing his own eyes to sleep.

In the morning, John woke up first. She'd rolled over and was on her respective side of the bed, clutching the blanket as always. Instead of rolling over to face the wall, he brought himself over to her, gently brushing the hair from her face and admiring her. At least for a few minutes before he put his arm around her, on top of the blanket. He looked out the window at the grey sky, knowing it would rain later if it wasn't already. He couldn't help but remember something he'd read - he did that often now - from her last absence. The words formed in his mind he let them out in a quiet murmur.

"_O living will that shall endure  
When all that seems shall suffer shock,  
Rise in the spiritual rock,  
Flow thro' our deeds and make them pure,_"

"Since when do you read Tennyson?" Ashley spoke softly, stretching out her legs as her eyes cracked open. She turned towards him as much as she could and smiled up at him.

"Sometimes that's all I have to remind myself of you." he said, leaning down to give her a gentle kiss. He wasn't trying to make her feel bad, just telling her how he felt. She left plenty of her books here, so he'd rummaged through some of them from time to time.

"Well keep reading." she chuckled, "It's pretty attractive to hear you recite poetry."


End file.
